How not to work from home

I've just placed an ad in our post office window. It requests - well, begs - any kindly person in my village with a room going spare to rent it to me one day a week. This is because attempting to work from my attic office with a three year-old beating on the door wailing hysterically "where's my mummy?" is not going to result in any kind of income worth speaking of. It may also, if it carries on, lead to the breakdown of my relationship and/or me rapidly going out of my mind.

The alternative to this scenario has so far been to boot my partner and our two small monsters out of the house for as long as he and they can take. Understandably, he's not that keen on this, particularly given  all the accoutrements required to service the demands of a baby and a toddler for the duration of what I am desperately trying to make an eight hour working Monday.

The other alternative is that I get out. I've tried working from cafes. I've perched myself and laptop at a hotdesking place near where we live. I once decamped to a friend's house. It's always been a bit of a disaster. Great for eating muffins. Pants for filing copy.

I base myself at home because I've found I can't effectively function from an office - or indeed anywhere I can't pootle and faff and have a snooze when I get stressed/overwhelmed/fed up. I need to pootle and faff. Make tea. Make more tea. Faff some more. It looks aimless. In fact to anyone else it probably looks mindless. But it works for me. It just doesn't work when you have your kids at home one day a week.

Hence, last Monday, a ferocious row. Which of us would be banished this time? In the end, in a stinking temper, I flung myself out of the house. And got about a third of my work done.

Do the same thing, get the same result.... it's coming autumn, the smalls can't spend every waking hour out in the snow and ice.... a proper solution has to be found. A garden office would be perfect, but would also cost around £15K, so that's not a goer.

What I'm hoping is that someone round this neck of the woods can't wait to rent me a tastefully decorated, wifi-enabled, be-kettled and sofa-enhanced room of my own. I've had no responses to my advert yet, weirdly. Still, it's only been a few hours. Doubtless the offers will soon be pouring in.